Second Chance
by ForeverRobsessed
Summary: He loves her, and he's not afraid to show it. She loves him, but she's terrified of admitting it. When her past encroaches upon their present, it's up to her to protect their future.


**A/N: A million thanks to NanaWillbur for reading this before anyone else and telling me that it's good enough to be shared with you all. Thanks to Pamela Lorraine for her willingness to join any journey I propose. And of course, Ninkita** **—** **Your edits are always a joy to read and apply. This wouldn't be half as good without you. Thanks a lot.**

 **The very talented Diane Lynne created a fantastic banner for this story. Big thanks to IllicitWriter for the beautiful E/B manip used in the design.**

 **DISCLAIMER** : Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

I heard a key jiggle in the lock, and the sound sent anticipation buzzing along my nerves. I couldn't see a thing through the blindfold Edward had put on me, but I felt the cool breeze caressing my skin, I heard the door open with an ominous creek, and I felt Edward's fingers wrap around mine as he started to lead me forward.

"Where are we going?"

"Almost there," he replied, and I could hear the excitement in his voice. I played along, placing my trust in him until we reached our destination.

Edward quickly undid the band, and I blinked a couple of times before taking in my surroundings.

My mouth fell open in a gasp as I took in the huge bookshelves that surrounded us and the few candles creating a dim glow around the otherwise dark place.

"The college library?" I whispered to myself.

When Edward had told me he wanted is to go somewhere special on his birthday, my work place would've been the last thing I'd imagined.

I turned to face him, and the sight that greeted me made my breath halt in its tracks.

He had removed his jacket, and it now lay in a puddle near his feet. His hands moved slowly, methodically, making their way down his buttons, revealing the hard planes of his chest as he went.

I stood there, gaping, while he took his time, taking slow steps toward me. Anticipation coiled in my belly, spreading like wildfire along my skin as I started to retreat. A couple of steps and my back hit the bookshelf, while Edward placed his arms on either side of my head.

"Wh-what are we doing here?" I almost squeaked.

"You were talking in your sleep last week, sweetheart." His voice was a throaty rumble, nearly overwhelming my senses. "I know you've been thinking about us . . . and that bookshelf."

I did recall that dream . . . I'd had it far too often.

Every time I came in here to research for my lectures, actually.

I just didn't know I'd shared it with him.

"I kept waiting for you to tell me, but when you didn't . . . well, I thought I'd better take the matter into my own hands."

I bit my lip, feeling the heat of my blush spread across my cheeks. "I didn't know . . . how to . . . say . . ." I shrugged weakly, as his nose skimmed over the line of my jaw.

He hummed, letting go of the shelf to pull me closer. "Good thing I can read your mind then, huh?"

I smiled, circling my arms around his neck. "Very good thing," I murmured, brushing my lips against his.

I gasped when I felt myself being lifted, and instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist while he pressed my back against the bookcase. My breathing grew heavy, as he pressed his forehead to mine and looked right into my eyes.

"How does this compare to the dream so far?"

"It's so much better," I breathed, leaning in to kiss him, but he pulled back with a smirk.

"Oh, sweetheart, you've seen nothing yet."

With that, he crushed his mouth to mine.

Lips slipped sloppily against each other, tongues stroked, teased, explored, and fingers dug into his soft skin as he rocked his pelvis – hard, and oh so ready – against mine. I vaguely registered the sound of the shelf rattling with our movements, but Edward's teeth tugged at my lower lip, making focusing on anything else virtually . . . no, completely impossible.

I doubled my efforts on hanging on to him when he braced one hand behind my head to prevent it from banging against the wood, while he . . . well, banged into me.

We broke apart from the kiss long enough to catch our breaths. He latched on to the skin over my collarbone, suckling it into his mouth before flicking it with his tongue. Impatient and eager for more, I freed one of my hands to clutch at the front of his shirt, ready to tear it apart, when suddenly, something hard fell on my head.

"Aah!"

"Bella?" Edward asked, alarmed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but it really hurt! Ow!" I let go of him to rub the spot on my head where the book had done its damage.

"Wha—" Edward started to say, only to be cut off by another _thwack_ as a second book fell right next to his feet. We both looked up, and I gasped in horror.

A huge cardboard box was wobbling precariously at the edge of the top rack, and I watched as what looked like an encyclopedia dangled off the open end.

"Move!" I screamed, and Edward barely had time to slip away with me as all the books and files inside the box came flying down to the floor.

He was still holding me in his arms while we watched the shower of papers make their way onto the floor, wincing at each and every _thwack_ and _whoosh_ and _swish_ until everything lay in a mountain of black and white exactly where we'd been standing less than a minute ago.

The quiet felt incredibly strange once the show was over. Neither of us said a word, and just stood there instead, eyes wide, horrified, and fixated on the debris.

"Did that just happen?" Edward whispered eventually.

"Looks like it," I replied, just as quiet, as though a monster was about to jump out of the pile and eat us alive.

We turned to each other, still blinking spastically, as we struggled to regain our bearings.

That was all it took.

His body shook once, then mine, then his again, until we both gave in to the laughter erupting out of our bellies.

"Oh my God!" I choked out between my giggles, as Edward finally put me down. He braced his hands on his knees as he guffawed until he was panting for breath.

Tears ran down my cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around my protesting stomach as the amusement refused to die down. Every time our eyes locked, one look was all it took to set us off our chuckles again.

When we finally managed to sober up, he said, "I just wanted to fulfil your fantasy." He threw up his hands. "Looks like your dream might've turned out better, after all."

I giggled, but stopped when I saw him frowning at the huge mess before us. I realized that he was genuinely upset about the gravitational fiasco. Before he could suggest another bookshelf and risk our lives again, I concocted a new plan.

"Well," I said slowly, dragging out the word until he looked at me curiously. I reached to my side and started unzipping my dress. "This carpet looks pretty comfy, too."

His eyebrows rose. "What?"

"As long as we're here, and assuming we want to keep our heads still attached to our bodies, I think we need a different plan."

"That we do, bu—"

"Uh-uh." I shook my head, dropping my hand so that the dress pooled at my feet. I stepped out of it, and gave him what I hoped was a sultry look. "Not buts. The only butt I want to see is yours, so drop your pants, mister!"

 _Clearly, my mind wasn't in control of my mouth anymore._

Edward's eyes widened. "Wow. You're really not good at the talking part, are you?"

I scowled. "Just shut up and kiss me."

"Now that I can do." He grinned and took two long strides to draw me into his arms. He wasted no time in claiming my mouth, his hands gripping me close while his tongue glides, warm and needy against mine.

The rest of our clothing fell away in a heap before we made our way down to the floor, his long body hovering over me. Our breaths were ragged, shallow, heated gasps, but the urgency in our movements had vanished. Edward pulled back, and a small smiled played on his lips as he stroked my cheek.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, kissing me softly before trailing his mouth down my neck. My back arched when he cupped my breast in his palm, squeezing gently while his finger traced a languid circle around my nipple. He ducked his head to capture the taut bud between his lips, sucking and flicking his tongue around it while I moaned, gripping his hair, seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I felt I would shatter right there in his arms.

He placed a wet, open-mouthed kiss over the soft mound before his lips followed the trail back to mine.

"I want you," I gasped against his mouth, wrapping my legs around his waist. "I _need_ you."

"Fuck!" he muttered, grinding himself against my sensitive flesh, sending a ripple of pleasure along my nerves. "I need you, too."

His warm breaths mingled with mine as he pressed our foreheads together, looking into my eyes while he slowly eased his way inside my body. My head fell back, a cry of wild abandon leaving my lips. He started to move, delving deeper with each swivel of his hips while our bodies heaved, arching, and colliding in the perfect rhythm that left us gasping and reaching for that precipice of ecstasy within minutes.

His mouth moved along my neck, his teeth grazing along the tendons there, nipping gently. The coil in my belly tightened, and I was helpless before him, thrashing, moaning, aching to fall over the edge and surrender to my release.

"Come on, Bella," he gritted, his movements growing choppy and frenzied, until he was pounding into me, pressing his hipbone to the apex of my thighs with each thrust.

I writhed and whimpered beneath him. My hips rose to match his movements, my body craving pleasure as intensely as it did the air making its way into my lungs.

He reached down to touch me where we were joined, his long fingers wasting no time in rubbing, circling, teasing the tender spot that finally threw me over the edge. I cried out loud as the blinding, pulsing moment of release washed over me. I trembled in his arms, every nerve ending in my body alight and alive through the waves of ecstasy pulsing through them.

With a final, deep thrust, I felt as much as heard the moan resonating in Edward's chest as he, too, found his pleasure. A shudder rocked through his body before he collapsed over me. His pants echoed in my ears, and my hands rose to tangle in his hair, stroking the sweaty strands away from his face.

He pulled out gently before falling onto his back next to me. I placed my hand on his chest, loving the feel of his heart thumping under my palm. Wanting me closer, he grabbed my arm and tugged until my head rested on his chest.

We spent a few moments in silence while our breathing slowly returned to a normal pace. Once I'd calmed down from my high, I placed my chin on his sternum to look at him.

"It's your birthday, and I got the present," I whispered, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. Your happiness is all I need. I want to give you everything your heart desires . . . everything you've missed out on," he murmured, the husky silk of his voice washing over me, making me feel safe, protected, loved.

"Missed out?"

Edward sighed and looked away, but his arm tightened around me. "Your douchebag ex, the pathetic excuse for a husband . . . I want to give you everything he didn't. Your deepest fantasies, your secret dreams, your hidden interests . . . I want every part of you, Bella. Just like every part of me is yours."

"I _am_ yours," I told him fervently, honestly. "This isn't a competition. It has been more than a year since the divorce. You have nothing to prove."

"I'm not trying to prove anything. I really do want to fulfil all your dreams."

I smirked. "Starting with my sexual fantasies?"

He grinned, unrepentant, and shrugged. "Why not?"

"How did you even know?" I wondered. "About my . . . _fondness_ for the library. I couldn't have spoken out in complete sentences in my sleep!"

"You didn't . . . But every time you babysat me, yo—"

I interrupted him with a groan, burying my face in his chest. "Can we please not talk about that? It makes me feel like a cradle-robber."

Edward chuckled. "You started working young, and my parents would've had me babysat until I was fifteen, if I hadn't put my foot down," he pointed out. "Seven years of age difference does not make you a cradle robber, sweetheart." I started to say something, but he pinched my lips together. "Let me finish," he pleaded, and I grudgingly acquiesced. "My point is, every time you . . . came over to my house back then, you used to have a book with you. You made me fall in love with fictional characters, just because you were the one sharing them with me. You're the most passionate bookworm I've ever met. Trust me, you didn't have to say the words to make me realize what you wanted."

I stroked his stubbly cheek with the back of my fingers. "You're wonderful," I said quietly. "This was wonderful. I'll remember it forever."

"I'm just me." He shrugged lightly. "And I'm just treating you the way you've always deserved. Ten years with that bastard made you forget it, but now that you're with me, get used to being swept off your feet every now and then. I have to keep you interested somehow, don't I?"

I giggled. "I can live with that. Trust me when I say that every day with you is an adventure. Why would I ever want it to end? I'm not going anywhere."

He leaned in, and I let my lids fall, waiting for the kiss that never came. When I opened them, I found him staring at me, his gaze full of so much adoration that I felt the telltale prickle of tears welling up in my eyes.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered before closing the last few inches and capturing my lips in a soft, languid kiss.

He didn't wait for me to say the words back to him, because he knew I couldn't. Not yet.

Every day, I found myself inching closer and closer to the day when I could finally be brave enough to admit it to him, but I wasn't there yet. The last time, the _only_ time I'd said those words to a man other than my father, he had promised me forever, only to break my heart in the worst possible manner after ten years of marriage. I'd been dreaming of growing old with him, while he'd been dreaming of replacing me with a younger, blonde, and a more voluptuous woman.

The moment he'd told me he'd cheated on me, I knew my marriage was over. I didn't consider forgiving him or working things out. I packed my bags, took my daughter, and made my way to the airport. When the lady at the counter asked me what destination I had in mind, there was only one place I wanted to be.

Port Angeles.

My hometown.

Katie and I'd settled into a new life here while the divorce proceedings were being finalized. The day I'd signed my name to finally cut all ties with my ex-husband was the day I'd bumped into Edward.

For a moment, I could only gape at the tall, bronze-haired, pale-skinned man standing before me in a well-worn leather jacket and dark-wash jeans. There was a beaming smile of recognition on his handsome face. He introduced himself, and I was even more flabbergasted – how had that little gangly boy with his perpetually freckled face grown up into the six-feet tall, well-built, confident man standing before me?

But there was no doubt this was the Edward I'd known. His emerald eyes sparkled with mirth and mischief, just like they had when he was a kid.

Before I knew it, we were meeting for coffee, then lunches and dinners, and the connection we'd once shared bloomed into a strong bond of friendship. He became my confidante, practically my therapist as the after-effects of Jacob's betrayal still sparked resentment inside me from time to time.

One evening two months after we'd met, we were at his place, while Katie was at a friend's house for a sleepover. Edward had appeared distracted throughout the meal. When I'd asked him about it, he'd confessed that his feelings for me ran far deeper than friendship.

"Sin- since when?" I'd stammered, completely taken aback, though I couldn't deny the way his company, his words, his touch had made me feel since we'd reconnected.

"Since forever," he'd admitted easily. "I've been in love with you since I was ten. Then you left . . . with your husband, and I tried to put it all out of my mind, but I never could. When I saw you at the grocery store that day, I knew. I knew this was my second chance."

I'd struggled and failed to find the right words, and the courage to express them.

Edward had smiled softly and shifted closer to me. "I'm going to kiss you now," he'd whispered. "If you push me away, I promise to never bother you again."

He'd pressed his lips to mine – soft and warm, gentle, yet insistent – and I'd known that this could be my second chance, too.

Now, his tongue traced the outline of my lips, begging for entrance, while his hand dipped over the curve of my ass, pulling me back to the present. The evidence of his arousal was hot, hard, and needy against my thigh, and I moaned, grinding my pelvis into his.

"We still have a little time," he murmured into the hollow of my throat.

"Thank God." I hitched my leg over his hip to draw him closer. My hands roamed over the muscles rippling in his shoulders, while he dipped his head toward my breasts.

Just then, the shrill sound of a ringtone cut through the haze of our lust. He groaned in obvious disappointment, but didn't stop me as I started to pull away. We both knew it was most likely Mrs. Cope, Katie's babysitter, probably calling because a nightmare had woken my sweet girl. I was the only one who could assure her that no monsters would crawl out from under her bed if she went back to sleep.

I stretched my arm to grab my phone and glanced at the display.

It certainly wasn't Mrs. Cope. In fact, it wasn't anyone in my contacts list. I squinted against the glare of the screen, trying to read the area code. What I found made my eyes widen. Nervousness bubbled inside me as I swiped my thumb to answer the call.

The voice that greeted me on the other end was one I hadn't heard in a long, long time.

"Dr. Gerandy?"

"Bella? Hi. I'm sorry to bother you so late, but I really need to speak with you."

I disentangled myself from Edward's arms and sat up. "What's going on?"

All the breath in my lungs rushed out in a whoosh as he explained why he'd called. My eyes fell shut when he mentioned Jacob's name, intermixed with a lot of words I'd heard once before in my life.

Words I'd hoped to never hear again.

Edward's gaze was concerned and probing while I listened to Dr. Gerandy go on and on. When I finally ended the call, he took my cold hand in his. "What's wrong?"

I bit my lip, taking a moment to center myself before I looked at him.

"I have to go to New York."

* * *

"Are you sure you have to go?" he asked, and I looked up to find him at the threshold of my room. His hands were stuffed into his jeans pockets, his shoulders rigid and his eyes guarded – the picture of awkwardness.

"Yes," I told him, packing two more shirts before zipping my bag shut. I grabbed the pink back-pack, rechecking that it had all of Katie's things.

"Katie, too?"

"Yes, Edward." A hint of frustration crept into my response as I sidestepped his rigid form to go to the living room. "Thank God she's off from school until next week. I know Dr. Gerandy wouldn't have involved me if it wasn't serious. God forbid, if something happens . . ." I shook my head, dispelling the dark thought. "No matter what he did to me, I can't take away his last chance to see his daughter."

"No matter what he did to you," Edward scoffed bitterly, but I ignored it. There was no time to deal with his prejudice at the moment.

"I spoke to Alice. She found a flight, miracle worker that she is."

"I can't come with you. The exhibition tomorrow . . ." He looked conflicted, so I walked over to him, cupping his face in my palms.

"Of course you're staying, Edward. You've worked so hard all these years. I'm just so sorry I won't be here by your side tomorrow."

He drew me closer. "Maybe I could postpone it?" he suggested, hope gleaming in his eyes. "I can talk to Mr. Banner, try to . . ."

"Absolutely not." I scowled. "You're not going to waste the years' worth of efforts you put into those photographs because of this. Whatever it is, I'll deal with it. Jacob and I . . . you know we've done this before. We were kids then. We can certainly manage ourselves now."

Something in my words made his mouth twist into a grimace.

"If I could just talk to Banner on—"

I shook my head. "Please, Edward. Don't. I won't let you destroy your reputation in the industry when you're barely starting out. I'll keep in touch, I promise. Katie and I will be fine, okay? You do the show, do us proud, and then we'll talk."

He was about to say something, probably try another argument, but Katie's soft footsteps echoed behind us.

"Mom?" She rubbed her sleepy eyes, clutching her favorite teddy in the other hand. "Are we going?"

I kneeled before her and buttoned her jacket close. "Yes, sweetie. We need to go. The cab is waiting outside."

With one last sad smile, I bid Edward goodbye, leaving him at the doorstep with a thousand unnamed emotions in his eyes.

* * *

Katie slept through most of our journey and woke up suitably refreshed when we landed. Still, I decided not to take her to the hospital with me at first. I'd rather see how Jacob was doing myself. I'd seen the same disease ravage his body when we were both eighteen, and I didn't want to expose Katie to that sight until I'd acquired all information myself.

I directed the cab driver to the house that'd once been ours, where Jacob still resided. I didn't go inside, and instead rang the bell next door.

Angela was delighted to see us, and quick to assure me that she would be happy to look after Katie while I went to the hospital. My little girl, too, was quite excited to see her old friend, Angela's golden retriever, Sunny. I smiled as I watched Katie stroke his fur and rub his belly. Angela was already bringing out milk and cookies, and her kindness brought tears to my eyes.

"Everything will work out, Bella," she assured me in her usual gentle manner as she locked me in a warm embrace. "Don't worry about Katie. We'll be fine. Does she know?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I want to speak to Jacob and the doctor myself, first."

"That's a good idea. You go do that. I was going to work from home anyway, so take your time."

I bade her sincere thanks and kissed Katie goodbye before walking in the direction of the station nearby.

Three trains later, I arrived at the hospital, fearful about the sight that would greet me.

Dr. Gerandy had already given me the room number where Jacob had been admitted, so I made my way directly into the elevator. Once on the fifth floor, I looked around and found the number I wanted painted on the third door to the right.

I stood outside and drew in a deep breath before pushing it open. Despite all my mental preparation, what I saw sent waves of pain rippling down my spine.

"Jake . . ." I whispered, and his eyes opened. They brightened when they fell on me.

"Bella."

Lauren stood off to one side, twisting her fingers together and sneaking careful glances at me. I nodded at her, and she thawed slightly, giving me an awkward smile that came out more as a grimace.

I bore her no ill will.

Not anymore.

Jacob and I weren't meant to last. If not her, someone, or something else would've broken us apart, sooner or later.

I'd accepted it . . . made peace with it, especially with Edward's help.

I stepped inside. Jacob held out an emaciated hand toward me. I took it, biting my lip against the sadness rushing through me as I took him in – the deep purple circles rimming his eyes, the sickly pallor underneath his russet skin, the dry, crackled lips that tried to smile at me.

"Thought we were past this, huh?" he rasped with a humorless snort.

"Yeah," I replied, squeezing his hand. "But you never did like to make life easier for those around you."

This time, his smile was more genuine. "I'm so glad you're here, Bella."

Dr. Gerandy came in just then, and the relief on his face when he saw me was unquestionable.

The last time I'd seen him was when we'd been twenty. Jacob had been declared to be cancer-free, and was being discharged from the hospital after a two-year long battle with his own body. He'd proposed to me that very day, and Dr. Gerandy had been a witness to my exultant acceptance. After that, Jacob had visited him for periodic check-ups on out-patient basis, while I'd planned our wedding and decorated our house.

Seeing him again today took me back into the past, and I couldn't help but hug the man who'd once done his best to support a grief-stricken teenager praying for her boyfriend's recovery.

He accepted my embrace, telling me in a quiet, yet sincere voice that he was glad I'd come. I stepped outside to speak with him.

He briefed me about how they'd been running tests for months before they finally managed to find the tumor wreaking havoc on Jacob's body. He explained that they were the same type of cells from last time, but the chemotherapy we'd used then hadn't proven effective this time around. He had placed Jacob on stronger medications, which, obviously meant more side-effects, too. So far, the tumor had shown no signs of shrinkage. Jacob was displaying obvious signs of depression, and tired of the awful, persistent effects of the drugs, he was now refusing further treatment.

Dr. Gerandy had become quite attached to Jacob when he'd treated him for the first time. I knew they'd kept in touch over the years. It was easy to see that Jacob's decision had taken its toll on Dr. Gerandy, too.

"I'll speak to him," I assured, patting his hand.

He smiled gratefully before we made our way back inside.

Jacob attempted to make a joke about a smelling a conspiracy, but no-one laughed. Dr. Gerandy started to perform what I assumed was his usual check-up, making notes in the patient chart.

He urged Jacob to consider giving chemotherapy another shot. Due to the location and vasculature of the tumor, surgery was not an option at present. But in his opinion, they hadn't given the drugs enough time to work.

"Enough time?" Jacob laughed weakly. "You know how long I've been in this bed, Doctor. Look at me. I can't take this anymore. I thought I was done with this shit ten years ago." He raised his head to look at me. " _We_ thought we were done. But it's back. And it's killing me . . . again. It's time we accept it."

"How much longer will he need to take the drugs for us to know if they're working or not?" I asked.

Dr. Gerandy pursed his lips. "I can't say for sure, Bella," he admitted, looking regretful. "But even if the tumor shrinks a little, we can give surgery a shot."

"You _just_ said you can't operate!" Lauren accused.

"I said that based on the state of the tumor now," Dr. Gerandy replied, looking like he was barely suppressing the urge to snap back at her. "If the drugs work, we could give it a shot. The chances would not be great, but they would certainly be better than what they are now."

Lauren huffed. "I don't understand. You're supposed to have studied this. How can you know noth—"

"Enough!" Jacob shot her a glare, and she reluctantly slinked back to her corner.

"Doctor, do you think the drug hasn't worked yet because the dose is not high enough?" I asked.

"It could be, but with toxic drugs like this one, we take it on an individual basis. We always start with lesser amounts, and then titrate as required."

I nodded my understanding.

"I'll give you some privacy," he said, hanging the chart back in its place on the railing. "I'll be back for an exam in a few hours."

"Lauren, give us a minute," Jacob said, once Dr. Gerandy had left.

Lauren's eye-roll was so dramatic, I had to cover my mouth to hold back my chuckle. She made a great show of grabbing her purse and swayed her hips as she ambled out of the room.

Jacob noticed my reaction and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. She just doesn't know how to handle this."

"At her age, I wouldn't expect her to know," I remarked, although we both knew we'd been at that very stage in our lives the last time we'd dealt with these circumstances.

"Nice," Jacob muttered. "Throw in a jab to a dying man, won't you?"

I walked over to the bed, and perched at the edge. "If you're dying, right now, it's out of your own choice, Jake," I told him. "Dr. Gerandy hasn't given up yet, and you know he would never bullshit with us. Why have you?"

"I can't take it anymore," he gritted, and tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm tired . . . so damn tired. I'm . . . I'm alone, Bella." His voice broke. "Last time, I had you, my parents . . . Now, they're gone, and you . . . you're gone. It's not easy to fight for a life when you have nothing worth living for."

"Nothing worth living for?" I disparaged with a glare. "What about Lauren, huh? Or are you just going to betray her like you did to me?"

"You know it's not the same with her," he muttered. "It never could be."

"I don't know anything about the two of you," I retorted. "But my days of setting you right are long gone, so I don't give a damn about her. What about Katie, Jake? Is your daughter not enough of a reason to at least try to stay alive?"

A lone tear escaped and rolled down his cheek, but he said nothing.

"She may only see you during the summer, but that doesn't mean you're not responsible for her. She's seven, Jake. She understands what goes on around her. What am I supposed to tell her? That her father didn't consider her a worthy reason to fight for his life?"

"You can't tell her that," he choked out, looking stricken.

"I've never lied to her," I informed him. "Never. Not even about our divorce. I've never portrayed you as the bad guy, you know that. But I haven't hidden the truth from her either. I'm not about to start now."

"Bella . . ." he pleaded as a sob caught in his throat. I sighed and took his gaunt hand in mine.

"There is still hope," I whispered fiercely. "And if you choose to ignore it, you're not doing right by your daughter. You're not doing right by yourself, Jake. We've beaten this once. We can do it again. But if you give up, we'll never know what could've been. Don't deprive your daughter of a father, Jake. Fight for her. Fight for _you_."

"Where is Katie?" he rasped. "Did you . . . did you bring her?"

"I did. She's with Angela."

He gave me a shaky smile. "Angela has missed you both a lot. If looks could kill, I would've dropped dead on the porch a thousand time since we separated."

"I'll bring Katie here, but only once you've made your decision."

"I _have_ made my decision," he whispered, but I could see in his eyes that his resolve was not as strong as before.

I felt wretched, using Katie this way to manipulate him, but Jacob had been my best friend once. He was my first crush, my first love, and despite everything that'd happened, I didn't want him to die this way – throwing himself into despair when we hadn't done everything we could.

"I don't think you've made the right one," I said softly. "But at the end, this is your life, and I will respect whatever you decide. I just don't want to give Katie false hope. So call me by the evening, okay? We'll be staying at the Radisson. Whatever you decide, I'll explain to Katie before bringing her here to see you."

With that, I pressed my lips to his sunken cheek, and left the room.

Once I'd collected Katie from Angela's, we checked into the hotel. I was exhausted and wanted to do nothing but snuggle with my baby girl while she watched her Disney channel. So that's just what we did.

We ordered room service, I sidestepped Katie's questions for the time being and let myself be with her, cherishing every moment, because it was a precious gift . . . she was a precious gift.

Edward and I had been in touch all day through messages, so I just left him a quick voicemail, explaining what was going on, and that I was too tired to talk. I looked at the time, and realized that he must be at the show. I told him I hoped it was going well and how proud I was of him.

Katie dozed off while watching TV, so I shut it off, and tucked her in snugly. I kissed her goodnight before heading to my side of the connecting rooms. I left the door open, in case she needed me at night. Just as I was also about to succumb to sleep, my phone chimed.

My breath caught when I realized it was from Jacob.

 _Okay, I'll try._

* * *

The next five days were a blur of hospital visits, and the nights were punctuated by such physical and mental exhaustion that I would be dead on my feet by the time we got back to the hotel.

Once Jacob had agreed, Dr. Gerandy had wasted no time in starting the chemotherapy. Because of the higher dose, he monitored Jacob's condition even more frequently than before, watching for any irreversible ill-effects. He advised that it would be better to wait for a few days, giving the drugs the time to act, before we scanned Jacob's body to see the results.

What he left unsaid wasn't hard to infer – he was afraid that, if it didn't work this time, there was no way Jacob would agree to any further trials.

I'd keep shunting between Angela's home, the hotel, and the hospital, bringing Katie in only when Jacob was feeling comparatively better. My heart warmed at the bright smile that Jacob seemed to be able to muster only for her. She knew, as much as she could understand, about his condition, and I'd never been prouder of my Katie than when she kept encouraging her father to be happy and hopeful.

I missed Edward something fierce – missed his solid, comforting presence beside me, his sweet words that'd make me smile even on the cruelest of days, his strength that'd make me feel invincible. Whenever I had a moment to myself, I found myself imagining our last night together, reliving those precious moments when he held me close, and I could feel his heartbeat under my cheek. Recalling his disappointment when the bookshelf escapade didn't work out made me smile, his willingness to do anything for me warming my heart.

We talked on the phone here and there, but it was never enough. I had no choice, though.

Jacob was well and truly alone. As the drugs did their worst, Lauren seemed to find herself more and more lost and confused about what to do. She'd lurk, she'd ask inane questions, she'd try to make small talk, and then she'd leave.

When we finally started to see less of her, I couldn't deny that I was relieved.

From as much as I could read his expressions, so was Jacob.

I told him I was onto him, and he'd just shrugged. "It is how it is. If she'd asked once more about how many times I'd puked today, I swear I would've thrown up on her precious pumps."

I couldn't help but giggle, imagining how high Lauren would've jumped and how loud she would've squealed if that'd actually happened. When I mentioned it to Jacob, he said, "Don't forget the eye-roll." He punctuated it with such an uncanny impression of the aforementioned gesture, that I was left gasping for breaths through my laughter.

I closed my eyes, wiping a couple of happy tears away, while Jacob continued to chuckle.

After days and days of pain and despair, it was unbelievably gratifying to see the joy, however fleeting, on his face.

When I looked up again, I was startled to find a tall figure standing outside the glass door, clad in an old leather jacket and peering at me through troubled green eyes.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" I asked excitedly, wrapping my arms around him.

For a moment, he just stood there, but eventually returned my hug. "I just . . . I thought you might need me," he replied.

"I'm so glad you're here, Edward. Thank you for coming. Is that why your phone was off earlier?" I deduced. "Did you hear my last message? Dr. Gerandy said we can do the scan tomorrow. I just hope there is some improvement, or else Jacob might not have the strength to try again."

Edward nodded, but didn't say anything on the matter. "Where are you staying? I'll pick up Katie and head over, if you can give me the address."

"Are you sure?" I figured he must've been tired after the journey. "I can pick up Katie and meet you there."

His eyes tightened. "I know she doesn't know everything about us, but she does know me as your friend. We've spent time together before. I won't make her uncomfortable."

I frowned. "No, no, baby, you're misunderstanding me. Of course she'll be fine with you," I said. "I just thought if you were tired, and wanted to rest . . . but anyhow, I'll text you Angela's address and the hotel's, too, right away."

"Thanks. I'll see you later tonight, then."

He leaned down to place a kiss over my forehead. Before I could say another word, he had looped his bag farther up his shoulder and was walking away from me in quick, long strides.

* * *

It was quite late when I made my way into the hotel room. Jacob had taken a turn for the worse just as I'd been about to leave, a particularly nasty wave of nausea making him miserable. I ended up staying with him longer than usual, while Dr. Gerandy administered what sounded like a cocktail of several medications. Thankfully, they made him calm enough to fall asleep.

I checked in on Katie and smiled as I noticed that Edward had tucked her in exactly the way she liked – tight and cozy, with her teddy bear to her right.

Edward, too, was deeply asleep, turned to his side and snoring gently as I tiptoed my way across the room. I kissed his cheek before heading into the bathroom to change into my pajamas.

When I returned, I maneuvered my way onto the bed, wincing as the mattress jostled, but Edward didn't stir. I wrapped an arm around his waist and tucked myself close to him, spooning his frame.

For a moment, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Katie woke up and saw us together this way. I was pleasantly surprised to note that the idea didn't scare as much as it would have just a few days ago. If the situation arose, maybe not today, but anytime soon . . . I was starting to believe we could deal with it. I could tell my daughter about Edward and me, and we would all be just fine.

Before I let sleep overtake me, my final thought was how utterly glad and grateful I was that Edward was here with me. With Jacob's scan coming up tomorrow, I couldn't have asked for anything better than his support to get through the day. It was as if he'd known exactly what I needed. As I found myself falling for him deeper and deeper, for the first time, I could smile and be excited rather than anxious while imagining the day I'd tell him how I felt.

And I knew it wouldn't be too far into the future.

* * *

The next morning, Jacob and I were waiting with bated breaths as Dr. Gerandy reviewed the scans. The plates covered his face, so it was only when he dropped his hand that we could see the wide smile on his face.

And that just said it all.

Edward had been keeping Katie busy in the waiting room, so I texted him to bring her over. I threw in a smiling emoticon to give him an indication of the good news.

Jacob called for me, so I walked over to him. He patted the bed, and I took a seat, curious as he reached out to frame my face between his hands.

"Thank you." The words came out uneven, barely a whisper, but the emotion behind them was unmistakable. "I could never have done this without you. You gave me hope, Bella."

I gave him a watery chuckle as my own tears made an appearance. "More like a threat."

He shook his head with a smile. "Semantics. Whatever works, eh?"

He held his arms open, and after just a second of hesitation, I accepted the hug. I felt his tears on my neck, and stroked his hair, shushing him softly.

It was Katie's voice that made us pull apart. She bounded over to Jacob, who quickly wiped his face before giving her a wide grin. I looked around, but Edward didn't come in. I craned my neck and found him right outside, standing there with a look on his face I could only describe as tortured.

I started to get up, but Katie held my hand.

"Mommy!"

"Just one sec, Katie, let me—"

"No, Mommy, listen to me."

I gave up with a sigh, smiling as I listened to Katie recount how she'd prayed to God to make her Daddy better and how glad she was that he'd listened.

I wasn't able to get out of the room until several minutes later. I rushed through the hallway, looking for Edward, only to find him right in front of the elevator.

"Hey!" I called out, and he turned to me. "You're leaving?"

"I was thinking I'd go and start packing. We can go home now, right?"

I frowned. "Edward, the tumor has only just started to shrink. He's not cured yet. I was hoping I could stay until we'd at least discussed further options with Dr. Gerandy."

"What about Katie?" The words were reasonable enough, but there was a challenge behind them I didn't understand. "Her school starts again tomorrow."

"I'll write her a note once we get back. It's only a few more days. I'm sure they'll understand, given the circumstances."

He just looked at me for a moment, before his lips curled up into a wistful smile. "You just have all the answers, Bella."

Something was wrong, that much was obvious, but I was growing impatient with his cryptic behavior. "Look, let's talk tonight at the hotel. Katie is waiting for me, plus Dr. Gerandy will be back to discuss our next steps anytime now. I'll come back early, okay? We really need to talk," I insisted.

"I know they're waiting for you." The elevator chimed, and the doors opened. Edward kept his eyes on me, but started to step back until he was inside the cabin. "Go. Be with your family."

The doors closed, and once again he left me puzzled and silent.

I should've understood what he meant by that last comment. But in the midst of everything going on, I didn't even have the time to think about it once I set foot in Jacob's room again.

Which was why, when Katie and I returned to an empty hotel room, I was taken aback.

Then I was concerned.

And when I found the note on the nightstand, I was angry.

 _~ I've always loved you, Bella, and I always will. Like I said, your happiness is more important than anything else. Take care. Be happy. ~_

* * *

It took three more days to figure things out with Jacob and Dr. Gerandy. Then Katie and I were finally able to get on a flight home. She couldn't miss any more school. Jacob had promised to follow through with the rest of the treatment, and we'd agreed to stay in touch via Skype.

All through the journey, I tried to get my words in order so that when I went over to Edward's, I'd be coherent, cohesive, and confident.

Yet, when I knocked at his door, a rush of anger flooded my system, and all those pre-organized thoughts flew right out the window.

He certainly didn't help matters when he opened the door, only to stare at me with such disbelief as if I were a ghost.

"Bella?"

I pushed past him and stormed inside. When I spun to face him, he was still standing at the door, shell-shocked.

"What the hell is this?" I snapped, holding up his ridiculous note.

His jaw clenched. "You'd made your decision, or you would've very soon. I couldn't stick around to watch you pick him." The miserable grimace that flashed across his face almost made me pause, but I couldn't back down.

For whatever reason, he had given up on us.

But if he thought I would let him, then he didn't know me very well.

"Pick him? Pick whom?"

"Why are you making this so difficult on me, Bella?"

"I'm only trying to understand what the hell you were thinking!" I cried. "What happened? Why did you leave like that?"

"Because I saw you," he yelled, slapping a hand against his thigh. He turned away from me, his harsh breaths echoing in the room as I waited for him to continue. "I saw you with him, Bella. You were happy . . . not angry, not bitter . . . happy. You always told me that you'd never forgive him for what he did to you, but it sure seemed like you had."

"I'll never forgive him," I asserted. "But he was _dying_. He still could, and he had no-one to take care of him."

"What about his girlfriend? Or did he leave her, too?"

I was tired of speaking to his back, so I stepped around him, meeting his anguished eyes. "She's twenty-one, Edward," I explained softly. "She didn't know how to deal with this. She was just making a fool of herself there. Jacob couldn't lean on her. I was all he had. I knew what it was like for him last time. I knew what to say to him to give him hope. That's why Dr. Gerandy called me."

"You were happy with him," he repeated quietly, looking away. "I saw you both . . . it was like you were old friends."

"Because we _were_. Before anything else, he was my best friend. Now, we have a daughter. No matter what, I'll never be able to sever all connections with him, and neither do I want to. Despite his behavior toward me, he has been a good father to her. I can't take that away from Katie."

"And I would never want you to," he countered. "I swear to you, Bella, I'm glad he has done right by Katie. But seeing you there with him, knowing that fighting cancer was exactly what brought you both together in the first place, watching history repeat itself . . ." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "You're right. You'll never be able to sever all ties with him. Why wouldn't you choose him?" His voice broke. "He's successful and settled. I'm just a struggling photographer. Being with him would make your family whole again. I'm just . . . an adventure, maybe a fantasy for you. Nothing more. Where do I fit into your life?"

I grabbed his arm and spun him to face me. When his eyes remained closed, I took hold of his chin and didn't let go until he met my gaze.

"Listen to me." I swallowed down the thick lump in my throat, struggling to hold myself together long enough to say what he needed to hear. "There is no damn history repeating itself. You want to know why I could be happy even in Jacob's presence? Because of you!" I placed my hand over his heart, thumping hard and staccato under my touch. "Looking at Lauren, reliving Jake's betrayal . . . it didn't break me. Because of you, you silly boy! Being with you . . . It has made me see that Jacob was never the one for me. The moment he'd confessed to cheating on me, I knew the man I'd loved was long gone. Maybe he never existed, because he would never have done that to me. I don't love this Jacob, Edward . . . I never have. But if he'd never cheated, I wouldn't have met you. I wouldn't have known how amazing life could be, and what I'd settled for. I wouldn't have known what the truest of true loves looks like. What I had with him was a teenage crush, mistaken for love, especially after dealing with such difficult circumstances together. What we have . . . I would never trade it for anything."

"How am I supposed to believe that?" he whispered dejectedly. "We're at different stages in our lives. It has never bothered me, but you . . . Our age difference doesn't bother me one bit, Bella, but you don't even like thinking about it. I mean, we've been together for over six months, and Katie still knows me only as your acquaintance. I've told you exactly how I feel about you. You know I'm in for the long haul. But you've never trusted me enough to return the feeling . . . in words or in actions."

I choked back a sob, hating myself for what I'd done to him. My fear had made this sweet, sweet man doubt himself to the point where he'd spent days, probably weeks battling his demons alone.

Yet he never said a word, never pushed me to take a step I wasn't ready for.

Because he loved me.

But what'd happened had broken his trust in me . . . trust I hadn't really worked to earn. It was high time I corrected that.

He deserved the truth.

"I was afraid," I confessed, sniffling as I laid myself bare before him. "Hell, I was petrified of revealing my feelings to you. Because I knew the moment I said those words, I would be yours forever, Edward. That's what I do . . . I don't do love halfway. With you . . . I could so easily be all in, but I knew that the mess I was after my divorce would've been nothing compared to what I would be if I ever lost you. And that scared me." I paused to take a deep breath, keeping my eyes trained on his, making sure he was listening. "The reason I hadn't told Katie about us . . . it was never you. It was always my cowardice, my trust issues that made me hold back . . . until I was sure I was capable of going all in."

His gaze roamed over my face as I spoke, confusion swirling in their depths, and I held on to it. He'd been so certain of his defeat when I'd walked in. The confusion meant my words were sinking in.

I had to make him see.

There was no other option.

I couldn't lose him.

Not now.

Not ever.

I went on. "And when you came to New York, when I realized how much easier it was to face a new day just because you were at my side, when I realized I knew I'd be alright, no matter what, as long as you were there to hold my hand . . . I _knew_ , Edward. I was sure. I was going to go all in. And then you left." I felt the tears roll down my cheek, the emptiness I'd felt on reading his letter trying to pull me into its dark depths again. But I had to go on. He needed to understand.

"I'm not going to give up. I believe that what we have is worth fighting for. So I'm here . . . I'm here to tell you that I'm all in, Edward Cullen. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and I always will," I told him quietly, but forcefully. "I'm so sorry that I made you doubt it."

I fell silent, and for a moment, it was just the sound of our labored breathing that hung in the air. I stared at him, trying to gauge his emotions, his reaction, but he gave me nothing, just looking back at me like he was trying to figure _me_ out.

I opened my mouth, trying to find more words, the right words, better words to express my feelings, but I didn't get a chance to get them out.

Before I knew it, Edward had crashed his mouth to mine, with a force that would've knocked me down.

But I wasn't afraid.

I knew he'd never let me fall.

His arm wrapped firmly around my waist, the other one cradling my head while our lips moved hungrily . . . devouring, accepting, forgiving, _loving_ each other more fiercely than ever. A low groan left his throat, and I echoed it, pulling him closer, _needing_ him closer.

We were both gasping for air when we broke apart a few minutes later. He didn't go far, pressing his forehead to mine.

I looked into his eyes and a sob slipped past my throat when I realized that the storm brewing in them had been replaced by the gentle warmth I loved.

He frowned at my tears, brushing them away before drawing me close. My head tucked under his chin, he hugged me tight.

"I'm an idiot," he muttered against my hair. 'You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. I should never have doubted you. I should never have left you. I'm so sorry."

"Ed—"

"Shhh." He rocked us slowly back and forth. "You had your chance. Let me talk, too, please?" He waited for me to nod before continuing. "Ever since I was a kid, you've always been somewhat of a dream to me . . . someone I could long for, but never hope to have. Jacob was the one who stole you away from me back then. I guess I've never been able to forget that. When I came to see you at the hospital, I thought you'd be . . . upset with him," he admitted. "But you weren't. You were holding yourself together so well, and that scared me." He pulled back to cup my cheeks. A small, crooked smile appeared on his lips. "What I forgot was how strong you are. And if you weren't, you wouldn't have been the Bella I love."

I placed my hand over his. "You gave me strength," I whispered. "Everything I thought I knew about love and life had been shattered to pieces when I left Jacob. But it was you . . . you made me see that it happened for a reason. It happened because I had to meet you. How could I be anything but happy about that?"

"I'm sorry I overreacted," he murmured, dipping his head to capture my lips again.

"I'm sorry I didn't understand how you were feeling, and I'm sorry I've been so afraid for so long."

Edward shook his head. "I understand why."

He smiled again – a slow, wide smile that spoke of forgiveness and the willingness to move on – and I returned it. He kissed me again, pulling my lower lip between his teeth this time. I bit back a moan as he tugged at it. "Can you stay?" he whispered.

His lips brushed against my jaw, and I couldn't help but moan. "No."

He pulled back with a frown. "Why? Is Katie okay?"

I placed a reassuring hand on his cheek. "She's fine. I left her at home with Mrs. Cope, so I need to head back."

"Okay," he breathed in relief. "How much time do we have?"

"None, actually," I answered. "Not tonight. But we have all day tomorrow."

"Oh. Is Katie going to stay at her friend's place after school?"

I shook my head. "No. She'll be with us." I smiled. "We have something to tell her, after all."

Edward's eyes widened, and I watched, a little amused, as hope and disbelief warred within them. "Bella . . . are you saying . . . are you sure? You don't have to."

I shushed him with a finger on his lips. "I want to. You felt like you didn't fit in my life. I don't believe that, but if you do . . ." I shrugged. "Then to hell with my life. I don't want it without you." Looping my arms around his neck, I said, "Let's start _our_ life together, okay? One where we both belong."

"That sounds perfect," he whispered thickly.

When he kissed me again, his movements exultant, yet tender, confident and adoring, I knew, together, we were going to be just that . . . _perfect_.

* * *

 **A/N: So, this was my entry in the Beyond the Bedroom contest. Didn't win a thing. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway.**

 **I don't have any more in store for them now, but I won't rule out a chapter or two to wrap things up in the future.**

 **Info regarding my stories, including updates, teasers, and pics can be found at my group, 'Fanfiction by ForeverRobsessed' on Facebook.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


End file.
